I Love Her

I Love Her, but I Want That Spark Back

I've been dating this girl for about a year and a half, and I fell completely in love with her. She is very attractive, good sense of humor, overall just a great girlfriend. We get in a lot of fights, mostly because lately shes become sort of annoying to me. I don't want to admit this to her, because it'll hurt her feelings of course. The main problem in our relationship is that I don't feel that "spark" anymore and iImiss it terribly. I want to feel like I'm wanting to get into something exciting and new again. Like the feeling you get when you just meet a girl and she's really into you, and you start pursuing her, and you kiss her for the first time. I just love her way too much to break up with her, but I really want that spark. I feel like I'm starting to fall out of love, also. What should I do?

Introduction

With few exceptions, we all want to be loved. With the divorce rate as high as it is, one wonders why so many relationships fail. Is it our choice of partners that is to blame? Is it maladaptive behaviors we perpetuate again and again? Is it unrealistic expectations that keep us from appreciating a good thing when it comes along? Or is it pure dumb luck that some people are, for want of a better term, lucky in love?

Chances are, for many of us there are varied reasons why we kiss so many frogs before we find the one prince(ess) we deem to be a keeper. Likewise, there are a myriad of explanations for why one relationship will last a lifetime while another will fall apart after six months. Some of these reasons will be universal while others will be unique to the two people involved.

This blog will speak universally to men about universal perceptions in women. I speak for all women because, frankly, I have spoken to all women. Well, maybe not ALL women, but at least all those in the Western Hemisphere. Well, maybe those in the United States. Okay, I’ve polled my best friend, six co-workers, three women standing in line at the supermarket, ten from the last two cocktail parties I attended, and my grandmother. Their feedback combined with my vast personal experience has inspired the following tips for men. I hope you find them useful!

Make her laugh whenever possible

Make her laugh whenever possible.

When women being interviewed about the man of their dreams list “funny” as one of the top ten qualities they seek in a man, they aren’t kidding. Life is hard. Anything (or anyone) that makes us forget this periodically is good.

Trust her

Trust her

Unless she has given you reason(s) not to, why wouldn’t you? In the beginning you are learning about her personality, her value system, her interests, and so forth. Along the way, life is going to provide both of you with tests when it comes to trust. You don’t need to help out here, there will be more than enough naturally. If you are unsure about whether she is trustworthy, talk to her about your fears, and give her concrete examples. Give her a chance to explain. We can expect things of others, but we cannot, no matter how hard we try, know what they are thinking or what might have happened to them when we weren’t present to see. If you want to know why she smelled of men’s cologne when she returned from the grocery store with only one item, or where she was at precisely 7:32 last evening when she didn’t answer her cell, or why she was late for your lunch date, ask her, then give her a chance to tell you, and forgive her the little stuff. If you find yourself wondering again and again if she can be trusted, either she is repeatedly exhibiting behavior that is representative of deceit, or you have issues that have nothing to do with her that you need to resolve (preferably with the help of a licensed counselor.) The point is that healthy relationships depend on mutual trust between the partners. Find a way to trust her or ask yourself this: if I can’t trust her, why would I want to continue to be with her?

Ways to Please Your Lover

Alright everyone, the time has arrived… 50 Ways to Please Your Lover: Tips for Men is now available for your buying, giving and reading pleasure…



In case you are new to this blog, here’s the idea:

Men, as much as you love the woman in your life, don’t you sometimes wish she came with an instruction manual?

Women, as much as you love that guy, don’t you ever wish he would do more of this, and less of that?

50 Ways to Please Your Lover: Tips for Men, is just that, a compilation of advice for men about women, on subjects ranging from laundry to sex and everything in between. This funny and sexy little book would make a great gift for any man from any woman who loves him. It might not transform your life, but then again, it just might!

For more info, or to preview or order this book, please visit Lulu (http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/50-ways-to-please-your-lover-tips-for-men/7235023) or Author’s Den (www.authorsden.com/scarlettblue). If shipping costs are an issue (or if for some insane reason, you’d like a signed copy!) just let me know and I’ll send one to you directly and eliminate that pesky salesman who jacks the cost up for so-called “handling”…

Romantic Tips For Your Lover Girlfriend

1.Call her the next day.

2.Always laugh at her jokes.

3.Tell her (truthfully) that you can’t wait to see her again

4.Offer her a backrub, without asking for one in return.

5.Call her just to say you were thinking about her.

6.Bring her a teddy bear and chicken soup when she’s sick.

7.Write her a poem.

8.Slow dance with her (not only on a dance floor).

9.Bring her flowers for no reason.

10.Send her a (handwritten) letter just to say hello.